Trustworthy
by Connor Chang
Summary: Kaji isn't the most trustworthy person around, but both Misato and Shinji are depending on him for the same reason. Rated T for some harsh language. Ye be warned.


**Trustworthy** by Connor Chang  
>Based on <em>Neon Genesis Evangelion<em> created by Hideaki Anno

* * *

><p><strong>Ryoji Kaji's Apartment – October 15, 2015<strong>

"Welcome to my humble abode."

Ryoji Kaji stepped aside, allowing Misato to step through the doorway. The ponytailed man closed the door behind the purple-haired woman as she silently entered the apartment and scanned her eyes about, keeping her head still.

Fluorescent lights overhead cast a cold, slightly green-tinged glow onto the pallid off-white walls, all of which were devoid of any sort of decoration. In the living room, a plain beige sofa and two equally plain armchairs surrounded a wooden coffee table occupied only by an ashtray. There was a white floor lamp in the far corner of the room near the windows, switched off. Closer to the front door in what could charitably be called a dining room, a round wooden table stood, encircled by four wooden chairs. To Misato's right was a white kitchen with a speckled gray countertop and the barest minimum of appliances plugged in – the refrigerator, a microwave, and a coffeemaker. The kitchen and dining area were separated from the living room by the point at which the hard, white tile floor turned into equally hard green carpet. Everything seemed orderly and clean, but overbearingly drab.

The place was even less homey than Misato thought it would be. Then again, Kaji was never the homemaking type.

"Scotch on the rocks?" Kaji asked his guest, opening one of the kitchen cabinets and pulling out a bottle of the eponymous liquor.

"Yes, please," Misato replied, her line of sight still turned away from the man.

The unshaven Kaji opened another cabinet and pulled out two Old Fashioned tumblers, then set both glasses and the whiskey bottle down on the counter with a few gentle 'clinks.'

"I was kind of surprised when you called me up out of the blue," he said, closing the cabinet doors. "And so close to the wedding. But, of course, I couldn't say no to you. How are things?"

After a moment of serious contemplation, Misato pressed her lips together, and turned to face her former lover with an expression that was equally worried and regretful. "Kaji, there's something I need to tell you. I don't know if- no, I _can't_ tell anyone else. And you can't, either. Promise me you won't."

Kaji paused and looked Misato directly in the eyes, concerned. Something was definitely wrong. He leaned back on the counter near the electric stove, his gaze not wavering for even a second. "My lips are sealed. I promise."

Misato took a deep breath, and clenched her hands into fists at her sides.

"Shinji and I…are in a relationship."

Kaji was glad he put everything down beforehand, or else he would have dropped something and made a mess in his pristine kitchen.

"…you're shitting me," he said after an uncomfortable silence, eyes wide.

Misato shook her head. "I'm not. We've been together since after the Tenth Angel attacked."

"…and whose idea was this?"

"It was mine." Misato bowed her head a little. "But-"

"Unbelievable."

As Kaji cut Misato off, he gave her a look of disapproval so fierce that she shrunk back and brought her arms to her chest, as if protecting her heart from something about to shoot through it. Though she knew that her confession wouldn't go over particularly well, especially not with a former flame, she was unprepared for Kaji's glare to be so utterly venomous and oppressive that she could feel the resentment digging under her skin.

"Shinji is fourteen," Kaji continued. "_Fourteen_." He paused to let his words sink in. "Do you realize that you could go to prison?"

"We're not having sex," Misato said, closing her eyes briefly. "You can't go to prison for just being in a relationship with someone."

"But you're his legal guardian, for God's sake." Kaji snapped, almost ignoring what Misato had just said.

"I know that…"

"Do you?" Kaji nearly shouted as he stepped forward. "Or are you just saying 'I know'? Because that's what it sounds like."

"I _know_ that I'm his guardian," Misato growled. "But he-"

"But nothing!" Kaji forcefully said. "This is serious, Katsuragi. You're supposed to be taking care of him, and instead you're taking advantage of him. You should be ashamed of yourself."

"I'm not taking advantage of him!" Misato declared. "Shinji confessed to me. _He_ confessed, not me."

Kaji lowered his voice, but the animosity remained. "What, and you just felt obligated to start a relationship with him?"

Misato growled. "Will you at least give me a minute to explain?"

"No, because I don't need an explanation," Kaji spat. "I see what's going on. You were so desperate that you actually thought it might be a good idea to latch onto a fourteen-year-old boy – your ward, I might add – who has a kiddie crush on you, without thinking about the fucking consequences!"

"That's not what happened!" Misato yelled, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "Will you please just listen to me?!"

Kaji leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms. "Alright, fine. But if I don't like what I hear, I'm calling Ritsuko."

Misato's eyes widened with fear. "You promised you wouldn't tell anyone!"

"Well, you know what, the circumstances have changed," Kaji practically snarled. "Now, talk."

Misato opened her mouth to protest, but quickly changed her mind, and sighed.

"It was the night after we defeated the Tenth Angel. I was out on the balcony because I couldn't sleep. Shinji came out to check on me; he couldn't sleep, either. I told him I was sorry that I had to keep sending him out to fight the Angels – that I had to use him to fight my battles for me. He said it was okay, but I said it wasn't, because it's not. It's not fair for me to keep ordering him to fight… I gave him a hug, and I told him that everything was going to be okay, and that one day he'd never have to fight again. That's when he tried to kiss me. I pulled away. That made him feel bad, so he ran to his room. He kept saying 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' like he'd just made the biggest mistake he'd ever make. I told him everything was okay, but I asked him why he wanted to kiss me. He said… He said that it was because he wanted to show how much he cared for me, because he wanted me to know how much I meant to him.

"No one's ever said that to me before. No one's ever told me that I mean so much… I admit I'm a sucker for sweet talk, but he bared his heart to me. And in that moment, I realized that I felt something for him too. But I didn't know if it was what he felt for me, or something else. I told him about why a relationship between us would be a bad idea; I brought up the age difference, the fact that I'm his guardian and his superior officer, the fact that I keep putting his life on the line, all that. He said he didn't care, that he just wanted to be with me. I actually really admired that." Misato paused to take a breath. "So I told him that, if he was okay with keeping it a secret, we could try something out. Again, I wasn't sure if I saw him in the way that he saw me, but I was willing to see if we, together, could work. So, it's been a while, I've had some time to think, and now I know for sure that I feel the same way about him."

Kaji's expression had meanwhile softened, although there was still a hint of disapproval in his eyes. "Why?"

"Because he takes such good care of me," Misato answered. "Because he loves me even though he knows I'm not perfect. He's just so kind and sensitive, and I don't know what I'd do without him."

Kaji exhaled deeply. "And what exactly have you been doing together?"

Misato wandered over to the dining room table and pulled out one of the chairs to take a seat. "Obviously, not having sex. I mean, not only would it be illegal, but I also wouldn't want to accidentally scar him emotionally if he wasn't ready for it. We've been a talking a lot more to try and get to know one another better. We watch TV and movies together. We hold hands, cuddle, and sometimes kiss – but no tongue. He's not ready for that yet. It's all low-key, but…enough that we can be called girlfriend and boyfriend."

Kaji remembered the bottle of whiskey on the counter, and unscrewed the cap. "Does Asuka know?" He filled one of the Old Fashioned glasses, not even bothering to get ice to put in it.

Misato shook her head. "Not only would she flip her lid if she found out, but I don't trust her to keep a secret."

"And yet you're trusting me?" Kaji put down the bottle and picked up the tumbler, and knocked back most of the glass's contents when he brought it to his lips. "What's the deal, Katsuragi? Why tell me everything?"

"I need your help, Kaji," Misato said matter-of-factly.

Kaji sighed, before swilling down the remaining whiskey in his glass. "Let me guess. You want me to help keep your and Shinji's relationship a secret from everyone else at NERV."

"Please. I'll never ask for any favors ever again, if that's what it takes to-"

"Say no more," Kaji said, placing the tumbler back down onto the counter. "I'll help you."

Misato sighed with relief. "Thank you so much."

"But you need to let me talk to Shinji alone, in person. I need to get his side of the story, to be sure."

"Of course," Misato said with a nod. "You can talk to him tomorrow when he comes in for his synch test. I'll keep myself busy."

"Does Shinji know you're here?" Kaji asked.

Misato nodded again. "He didn't want to come with me. He wasn't feeling very well."

"He trusts you enough to leave you alone with me?"

Misato frowned. "Explicitly. And I trust him enough to leave him alone with other girls." Her eyes narrowed. "You know, you always look for the bad in people, Kaji. You don't focus enough on the good."

Kaji ran a hand through his hair. "What can I say? I'm a natural pessimist."

"And that's one of the reasons why the two of us weren't going to work out."

"Right, right. One of the reasons. Speaking of, whatever happened to that other guy?" Kaji began to pour himself another glass of whiskey. "Are you two still on good terms, or was it a messy breakup?"

Misato blinked as she realized something. "Ah, shit."

"What is it?"

"I forgot about him. The 'other guy.'" Misato made air quotes as she said the last two words.

"What's with the air quotes?" Kaji cocked an eyebrow.

Misato sighed guiltily. "There was no 'other guy.' I lied. I didn't leave you for someone else."

Kaji's shoulders slumped in disappointment. "Then why? And why not just tell me the truth?"

"I was afraid of the truth," Misato replied, clasping her hands. "I didn't want to accept it." She sighed again, and looked away. "The truth is…I left you because you reminded me too much of my father."

Kaji said nothing.

"You both always thought about everything so bleakly," Misato continued. "You were both so negative about humanity. About love… I was so sick of the negativity. I couldn't take it."

Kaji stayed silent as he finished his drink. "You were afraid of the truth?"

Misato took a deep breath. "I still don't know if I hate or love my father. He practically abandoned me and my mother for his work, but he also saved my life when Second Impact happened." Her voice quieted. "I used to really hate him, and I wanted to sleep around and get drunk and be a bad girl to spite him. I wanted to run away from every memory I had of him… And then when I realized you were so much like him, I didn't want it to be true. I had to leave you because I couldn't accept that you were like my father. I hated the both of you." She covered her face with her eyes and sighed yet again. "But now, I'm not so sure how I feel."

Kaji set his tumbler down on the kitchen counter and made his way over to Misato, taking a seat across from her. "So, something's different about Shinji."

Misato looked up into Kaji's eyes and sadly nodded. "Shinji's not like my father. Not at all. Actually, he's just like me: he's lost, he's lonely, and he needs someone to take care of him and understand him. Hell, in a way, we're kind of perfect for each other."

"It sounds an awful lot like you're in love with the kid," Kaji said, propping his elbow on the table and resting his chin in his hand.

"Well, I love him as a friend, but I don't know if I'm _in love_ with him," Misato clarified. "I mean, we've only been in a relationship for, what, a month? Not even? It's way too early for me to say." She sighed and rubbed her eyes with her thumb and forefinger. "But I wouldn't be surprised if I do end up saying 'I love you' in a romantic way down the road."

Kaji leaned back in his seat, placing his hands behind his head. Slowly, a smile crept across his face.

"That right there, what you said just now – the notion that you might be in love with Shinji – that makes me really hopeful. It actually makes me want things to work out between you two. I mean, I'm still going to have to talk with Shinji to make absolutely sure that everything's kosher, but you know what? If it all adds up, and Shinji's fine with everything, then I wish you two the best."

Misato's faint smile grew wider. "That…really means a lot to me. Thank you."


End file.
